The tough questions

Last week was a tough one for us. We had one funeral on Tuesday and Thursday night Grandpa Stokes went home to be with the Lord. He took a turn for the worst early last week. He was has been fighting brain cancer since last October. Dan and his family were able to be there with him during his last minutes.

He has left such an amazing legacy. The week before he was diagnosed with this he was out working cows and helping build a new porch for Phil and Dianna. Just the year before he was here at our house working along side all the grandpas to build our house.

Both kids love Grandpa Stokes and going over to his house. He would go outside and show them the chickens or pester them. They would laugh and play a long. He came to the hospital when both of our babies were born. He loved to watch his grandsons play basketball and baseball. He was very much involved in our lives.

This week has prompted a lot of questions from our kiddos. We told them both that Grandpa wasn't doing well and that he would be going to Heaven soon. They understood this because they knew he was sick. On Friday I told Tatum that Grandpa had passed away. We explained that everyone was sad and to not be real loud. We took dinner over Friday night and spent some time with Grandma Stokes. We had not had the chance to explain to Titus yet what was going on. He ran into the house and played a while later he was asking us "where is Grandpa"?

On the way home we were talking to the kids again about Jim's passing. They knew Dan was with him the night before. Titus asked "Did you see Grandpa die"? Dan told him yes. Then Tatum says "Did you see him go to Heaven"? These are questions that are hard to answer. Since they have had so many questions we decided to take them to the viewing but not push anything on them. Titus was the first to ask who was up front and what they were doing. We told him and he asked to go see. Once he saw him he didn't seem bothered by the fact at all. He was very curious and wanted to see.

Tatum did not want to go at first because she didn't want people to watch her. On her own time she asked to go see. Once we got up there she said that's not Grandpa he is in heaven that is a statue. I explained that he is in Heaven and he has a new body that isn't sick any more. She was happy with that answer and they have not asked any questions since.

You may think this was a bad idea to take children at such young ages. It was a hard decision for us at first but the more we thought about it, this is a man we all love very much. Death is and has been a part of our life a lot this past year. We didn't make a big deal out of it and it was not a somber sad setting. We know with out a doubt where Jim is today and this is a celebration of his life. I think we made the right choice in taking them. Children are so innocent and sweet. They know where their grandpa is and that they will see him again. They are totally at peace with this.

As we prayed Tatum told me that she is still going to pray for Grandpa and that he is all better. I think sometimes children understand better then we as adults do. I thank the Lord for my children and the chance to see life through their eyes.