Loved Ones!

It's been a long time and I hope to catch up soon. I have been taking notes a long the way on what I want to say just have not taken time to sit and write.

It has been a wild and crazy holiday season. Lots of family, fun and laughter with a few tears as well. I have been watching my family and Dan's family as we all interact and get together. We all love to be together and enjoy each other so much. I am blessed to have such a great family on all sides and I take that for granted far to often. I am thankful that we all had another year together. This year was with out Dan's grandpa but we know he is in a much better place then we are right now. We rejoice in the fact that we will see him again.

This time of year makes me think and reflect on the past year. It's makes me more sentimental. Today I had the privilege to sit with my great Grandma. She is no longer in great health. She needs meals made for her and help when using the restroom or getting dressed. I remember Grandma Vaughn as such a strong funny lady growing up. She always had a quick wit about her. At times she still does but her memory comes and goes. She also now has a terrible time hearing us even with hearing aids.

So many times I remember her making breakfast, lunch or dinner for us in her tiny kitchen. I couldn't help but think this is not something to be annoyed by but a privilege or a way to thank her for taking care of my family and me for so many years. Not only her but a thank you to my Nanny and Papa for always being there to take care of us, my kids and Grandma. To sit with her for just a few short hours seems so small compared to all they have done and do. I know they grow tired but never do I hear them take an ugly tone with her. Never do they neglect to bath and feed her. Never do they stop telling her they love her. It melts my heart to see Nanny kiss her on the cheek still. This is my Nanny's Mom and I see her look at Grandma with sadness in her eyes and so much love for her mother. I know she would give anything to just have a conversation with her Mom like she did all the years past.

 Is it a pleasant job all the time for them? No not at all but I have so much respect for them and appreciation for what they are doing. So many people just put their loved ones away in nursing homes because it cramps their style to take care of a family member or they just don't want to mess with it. Have they ever thought maybe it cramped her/his style to raise them or baby sit their babies? I know some cases are different and they are unable to care for their loved ones. These are not the ones I am talking about. I mean the family members that have been put away and forgotten or unwanted.

 Grandma is and has been such a blessing in all of our lives. I catch myself being just as guilty as anyone else. When we are all crowded together it is hard to talk to her. There is to much noise and she can't hear hardly at all during those times. We tend to not talk with her as much as we should during the chaos family gatherings. I watched her yesterday and wondered how lonely she must have been feeling even during the hustle and bustle of the crowd. I watched her as she sat across the table from me. She watched everyone and smiled as they passed and her smiles were returned but she could not hear any responses. I smiled several times and even waved while she was sitting there but she never could hear the words I spoke to her. When she was watching in the other room I sent Titus over to give her a hug. He gives the best big hugs. He ran over and put his little arms around her neck. She loves him so much as she does the rest of us. She was surprised to feel his arms on her but she turned and hugged him back and kissed his little head. He ran on about his business but she looked at me with lit up eyes and smiled real big as tears formed in her eyes.  

Today after taking care of Grandma she thanked me multiple times for helping her. I could tell she was so embarrassed and stressed out that I had to do that. I kept telling her everything was fine and not to worry. She was also worried because her youngest daughter had surgery and she didn't get to see for herself how she was doing. I reassured her several times that she was fine and would be home tomorrow. Bless her sweet heart she just wanted to know her baby was okay. She thanked me again and then told me how sweet and cute my kids are and that she loves them. She was having a good day with her memory. She then told me "I love you. I love all of you" Meaning all of our family.

 Dan accidentally made the oven smoke up the place. She didn't smell it at first until the smoke alarm went off. She was in with the kids when it went off. (I'm giggling now thinking about it.) She came in asking what was going on and what that smell was. I started trying to tell her but just started cracking up. What great caregivers we are! She got tickled because I was. We both stood there giggling at the sight Dan and I made almost burning a pizza. These are times I would like to remember because I fear that soon she will no longer be with us. I want to show her more often that I love her and that I have not forgotten her or my grandparents.

Next year I want to spend more time with my family. I want to make a point to play more, laugh more and spend quality time. I don't want to have any regrets. I don't want to think I should have taken more time for my grandparents or my kids. I need a reminder of this when life gets crazy but the house and laundry can wait. My family can not. As my father in law puts it we are getting older everyday. So I may or may not get to the blog as much as I like but instead I hope to be making lots of sweet memories with my family.

My babies these days

Tatum you make me laugh and your so loving. You tell me daily that I am the best Momma ever and I respond you are the best daughter ever. You like to sneak up behind me and scare me in the kitchen and you are good at it. It's a good thing my heart seems to be good! You tell us you missed us when you get in the car after school and you want to know everything I did while you were gone. Daddy has been teaching you how to drive the 4-wheeler by yourself and your very good at it. You love to play with you friends. Your best friends are Livy, Bethany and Jeralyn right now. You talk about these three all the time. You have learned to swim great this summer. You now jump into the deep end and swim to the other side under water. You can swim across the pool doggy pedaling  as well. You can jump in with out ear plugs now and love to spend time under water. You also love riding bikes with Titus. You have also taken an interest in hitting golf balls with daddy. He of course loves this and is so proud. You love all creatures. Right now you have a turtle that you check on daily. 

You can wash your own hair but a lot of times still like daddy or I to do it because you say we are faster. At your well child appointment Dr. Shah told us you are in the 89% in height and grew 3 inches this past year. You are a great eater. You like veggies and fruit. You are learning that your tone of voice means a lot. If you say something hateful that hurts peoples feelings and we have to watch how we say things. This is still a work in progress but I trust you will get there. You have a huge heart and don't want to hurt anyone. You still like to have things your way and be a little bossy but that will get better with time as well. Right now you are really into practicing your gymnastics and showing me your cartwheel and flips. Your getting better everyday. Our bed time routine is milk, book/Bible story, brush teeth, prayers and then a little chit chat. 

I pray that you will accept the Lord into your heart at an early age, I pray you will have Godly wisdom and discernment. I pray for your purity and your future mate. I pray for your innocence as well and that your Daddy and I will teach the way the Lord would have us to. I love you so much my beautiful girl.

Titus you are all boy. I ask you about your day at school and you tell me that you didn't learn anything and you don't know your friends name. When I asked about learning the color yellow you said yes we learned that. I also asked about a fire drill. You said yes we did that. Your answers are very short and to the point. You tell me daily and sometimes hourly that "Me love you" Sometimes you say "Me love you taller then the moon" You love your cuddle time and hanging out with me. Of course you are also a big time daddy's boy. He has been showing you how to drive the 4-wheeler as well. Yesterday he let you drive across the field with him on back of course and you went fast and said "This is what I am talking about"!! I am a little scared!! You love to watch cartoons and could probably watch them all day if I would let you. You like to ride your motorcycle bike and go real fast. You do not like it if Tatum or Livy ride in front of you. You like to win even when they are not racing. You like hitting golf balls with daddy as well. You tell everyone you are going to grow up to big like your daddy. You are starting to be a better eater but you still don't like to eat when you first get up you. This is a little hard with school so as we are driving I give you a pop tart or banana. I can't send you to school hungry. You could wrestle all day everyday if someone would wrestle that long. You love it when your papas and uncles "rough" you up! You think hunting is so cool even though you have never been but you still talk about it. Daddy bought you a fake bow at the dollar store. You and Conner spent one morning hunting and shooting stuffed animals. You are pretty good at it. 

Titus you are very sneaky when it comes to sweets. I have caught you at several family get together events sneaking treats from the dessert tables or at birthdays. You are also quite ornery and love to pester your sister. I see a lot of myself in you at times and also a lot of your uncle Lee. You don't like to be woke up and bothered when you first wake. You prefer to lay there a bit and get woke up fully before getting up. Your also not a big talker first thing. Our night routine is the same as Tatum's. Bath, milk, story, prayers, song, and chit chat time. You have been an early riser the last few weeks and gotten in my bed until time to get up. Usually the first words of the morning is "I want some milk". That part reminds me of your uncle Lucas. 

I pray that you do grow up to be just like your Daddy and love the Lord and your family with all you heart. I pray you also have Godly wisdom and discernment. I pray that you are not to daring and fearless. I know you are a boy and will test limits but I pray you realize there are consequences and you could get hurt. I pray for your purity as well and for your future mate. I pray you meet a Godly woman when the time is right. I pray that Daddy and I teach the ways of the Lord and lead you the way we should by example and teachings. I pray you always feel comfortable enough to talk to us both. I love you so much my handsome little man!!

First Day of School

First week of school for both my babies.

Last Monday Tatum met her teacher. Mrs. Breedlove. She colored her a pretty picture for the meeting. She was so excited and couldn't wait to get there.

 Tuesday was Titus' first day of Wee school. He is going two days a week this year. He was so excited and told me he would love it. He said he was a little bit scared but still wanted to go. I asked if his heart was ready to go and he said "yes but my head is a little bit scared." So far he is loving school and tells me he likes to play there. I am having a hard time adjusting and dropping my baby boy off a couple days a week. He seems to little for this. I am trying to fill my days with grocery shopping and what ever errands need to be done so I have lots of play time when my babies are home.

 Titus walked in and hung his stuff up on the hooks then went straight to a monster truck.

 Tatum's first day was last Wednesday. She picked out her first day outfit all by herself. This is the lunch box and backpack she also picked out when school shopping. She is has good fashion a lot of times I must say. Some days that is a challenge though. She likes to pick out her own attire and I don't always agree. We try to compromise on this.

 I had to drop my baby girl off and keep from crying until outside. I cried all the way to Pryor. Such a hard thing dropping my sweet girl off for 8 hours in the hands of someone new. She came out of school that day so excited and full of new stories. She told me about new friends and adventures of the day. She is adjusting well. I am learning that she likes to confess anything that she could have done wrong for the day. The first thing out of her mouth yesterday was that she wasn't nice to her friend and her friend told her about it. She said she told her sorry and everything was fine. Then she said okay can we not talk about that any more. This is something she has started the last few weeks. It's like she must get whatever it is off her chest that she feels is a wrong. I hope she always feels free to talk to me. She told me the day before that she got in trouble for talking. I explained if she gets in trouble at school and the teacher has to call me then she will be in trouble at home as well. She was so nervous. I tried to get it across that the teacher had already punished her and she was not in trouble. Only if it was bad enough that she needed to send a note home, call, or go to the principal. I think she is starting to figure this all out. 

The tough questions

Last week was a tough one for us. We had one funeral on Tuesday and Thursday night Grandpa Stokes went home to be with the Lord. He took a turn for the worst early last week. He was has been fighting brain cancer since last October. Dan and his family were able to be there with him during his last minutes.

He has left such an amazing legacy. The week before he was diagnosed with this he was out working cows and helping build a new porch for Phil and Dianna. Just the year before he was here at our house working along side all the grandpas to build our house.

Both kids love Grandpa Stokes and going over to his house. He would go outside and show them the chickens or pester them. They would laugh and play a long. He came to the hospital when both of our babies were born. He loved to watch his grandsons play basketball and baseball. He was very much involved in our lives.

This week has prompted a lot of questions from our kiddos. We told them both that Grandpa wasn't doing well and that he would be going to Heaven soon. They understood this because they knew he was sick. On Friday I told Tatum that Grandpa had passed away. We explained that everyone was sad and to not be real loud. We took dinner over Friday night and spent some time with Grandma Stokes. We had not had the chance to explain to Titus yet what was going on. He ran into the house and played a while later he was asking us "where is Grandpa"?

On the way home we were talking to the kids again about Jim's passing. They knew Dan was with him the night before. Titus asked "Did you see Grandpa die"? Dan told him yes. Then Tatum says "Did you see him go to Heaven"? These are questions that are hard to answer. Since they have had so many questions we decided to take them to the viewing but not push anything on them. Titus was the first to ask who was up front and what they were doing. We told him and he asked to go see. Once he saw him he didn't seem bothered by the fact at all. He was very curious and wanted to see.

Tatum did not want to go at first because she didn't want people to watch her. On her own time she asked to go see. Once we got up there she said that's not Grandpa he is in heaven that is a statue. I explained that he is in Heaven and he has a new body that isn't sick any more. She was happy with that answer and they have not asked any questions since.

You may think this was a bad idea to take children at such young ages. It was a hard decision for us at first but the more we thought about it, this is a man we all love very much. Death is and has been a part of our life a lot this past year. We didn't make a big deal out of it and it was not a somber sad setting. We know with out a doubt where Jim is today and this is a celebration of his life. I think we made the right choice in taking them. Children are so innocent and sweet. They know where their grandpa is and that they will see him again. They are totally at peace with this.

As we prayed Tatum told me that she is still going to pray for Grandpa and that he is all better. I think sometimes children understand better then we as adults do. I thank the Lord for my children and the chance to see life through their eyes.

August Already!

August is already here and I can't believe it. Summer has gone by quickly as usual. We started this month off with appointments and getting ready for school. 

After appointments we took Tatum and Titus to play at Incredible pizza. They played hard. On the way home Titus fell a sleep with his super hero mask on.

We have had very little rain this summer. With that our state has had it's share of wild fires. Here is one out of control in front of my parents house. Praise the Lord it was stopped just before it crossed the road over to their yard. It was a scary afternoon. 

 Every since we moved into our house I have wanted to paint the kids rooms. I had big plans and projects for this summer but spent to much time playing. So when it was to hot to play outside a couple weeks ago we painted rooms. Tatum needed new bedding for her room. She picked the zebra out all by herself. She like the leopard too but that was just to old. My choice was butterflies and flowers but she likes pizazz!! I am loving her new purple walls. Its so bright and cheery.

 Titus picked blue and red for his walls. I thought red would be a little to much so we settled with just blue. He wanted to change his mural to monster trucks too but that's not happening right now. My iPhone camera makes it look a little purple but it's a sky blue.

 Titus will be going to school two days a week this year. He met his teacher last week. He was all smiles and very excited. I am so not ready for this. My baby can't be old enough!! Yes, I will cry like a baby when he goes into his class room. 

I asked him the night before meet the teacher if he was excited to meet her? He said "Yes, but a little bit scared". I asked why and he told me his head is a little scared. I said oh well what about you heart. He said my heart isn't scared it's ready. It broke my heart. I told him he could stay home with Mommy and he told me no he's ready to go to school just a little scared. On our way to meet his teacher he said "Mommy I'm nervous"!

 Tatum and a couple friends started gymnastics last week. She is so excited about it. All day long she kept telling me she was so excited and then would ask me if I was so excited!

Saturday my cousin Nicole got married. She asked me to do her hair and her bridesmaids hair. I did Nicole's hair winter ball when she was in high school and maybe prom too but I can't remember. It was an honor for me to be apart of her special day in this way. She was a beautiful bride. 

This week school starts for both kids. Titus starts Tuesday and Tatum starts Wednesday. I am not ready for summer to be over but I am ready for schedule and routines again. I can't believe Tatum will be in kindergarten. I will miss her. She will be gone all day every day this year and it'll take some getting used to on both our parts.

July fun

July was supposed to be slower but it proved to be just as busy and went way to fast.

 We started the month with a fun trip to the water park with friends.

We got to spend a fun evening cuddling with sweet Hadley girl.

We got a new washer and dryer. Dan thought both would fit in the back of the Tahoe but they did not. So we had to drive with the dryer on top. Embarrassing!!  Dan couldn't fit behind the washer to hook up the dryer so he put me back there. It was tight quarters. It's working fine so I must have put it on right. I also have to say I love the new washer and dryer!! It has cut my loads per week in half!! AWESOME!!!!  

The second week of July was our annual cousins weekend. It is always such a great time with family. Ellie was looking to cute in her swim suite and head band!

We spend the day swimming, jumping off the bridge, visiting and eating lots of great food.

We end the day playing on a water slide and making mud pies. It was another successful cousin's weekend. We look forward to it every year.

Dan, Phil and Derick built our fence and Katie and Derick's in the 110 plus weather. It looks beautiful and they did a great job!! I am so thankful for these hard working guys.

A sweet child hood friend came into town and wanted to try her hand in noodling. It was a fun time of catching up and watching her noodle. I think she's now a pro!! She caught a good one!! I'm not sure she knew exactly what she was getting into but she was a good sport. Derick was her guide. He might have a future carrier here! 

Later that evening we took her to Pig N Out. Here are Katie and the kiddos watching a movie on her phone. They were so good during the noodle adventure! No fun evening is complete with out good food!!

 We took a fun family trip to Branson. We met up and spent the night with friends. We played, shopped and went to Silver Dollar City. 

 We welcomed our newest nephew into the family. Sweet baby London is adorable. 

We took a hike at Grandpa Stokes' and road around on the 4wheeler for a bit.

Nana Dianna took the girls out for a night out to see the play Tom Sawyer at a children's theatre. The play was really good and cute. It kept the girls attention the entire time.

 I'm a little behind but I had the kids pictures taken. They turned out so cute!

That pretty well sums up our month of July. We tried to make the most of our summer and enjoy every minute.

Tatum came home from church telling us her friend Eden is learning "Chinese Spanish". 

- She asked if the candy from tomorrow was still good. (meaning yesterday)

The Olympics were on during July and we loved getting to watch it. The kids even watched with us and were into it. Tatum's favorite part was the gymnastics and Titus liked the swimming and racing. 

While watching the rowing Titus yelled "Look Mom they are racing!" 

-While playing Titus got stuck and yelled "I need a little help in here"